People, do I have to tell you everything! Geez, Louise, I feel like I’m dealing with my first-graders.
Your TV has an off button. Really, it does! You do not have to watch the Trump Follies at 5, the president’s — well, I don’t know what to call them. I mean, he calls them news conferences, but news conferences have to contain, you know, news. So they’re just his latest cult rallies. Or something. I don’t even know.
But you don’t have to watch. He can’t make you, no matter how much he’d like to. Instead, you could tune into Andy at 5, Governor Andy Beshear’s news conferences that contain — be amazed! — news and advice from experts. What a concept!
Still, I know there are gluttons for punishment out there. So Mama Ivonne is going to help you out. If you must watch (practicing your psychological analytical skills, masochism, the same compulsion that forces people to watch car wrecks, whatever), here’s what you need to do. Turn it into a bingo game.
That’s right! A bingo game. And I’ve even made up the bingo board for you. How’s that for making it easy? Because every one of Trump’s Follies at 5 has the same components.
But notice that I put “Actual Information” in the Free Space spot. Because otherwise you’d never get a bingo chip on that one.
You’re welcome!
Trump Follies at 5 Bingo |
||
| Praise himself | Disparage a governor who’s putting her or his citizens first | Pick on a reporter (female and/or minority gives you an extra box of your choice) |
| Talk about reopening the economy prematurely | FREE SPACE Actual information |
Advance a conspiracy theory |
| Propose a misguided new idea without discussing it with anyone | Go back on the misguided new idea he proposed three days ago | Invent a statistic |
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